howdy folks and heres your back to school dispatch from hojo

its really big and smells funny. but i like it. my room is HUGE (well compared to maegans) but it will be okay. i will put more stuff on the wall and ashwin is giving me his animal print papasan!

it will be spacious with lots of seating so i am voting study parties in my room

also here is the schedule:

Course Id	Course Description	Cr- Hrs	Days	Meeting Times	Bldg	Room	Instructor
ENGL142 001	FILM ANALYSIS	3.0	MW	02:00PM-04:50PM	GREENLAW	0101	FLAXMAN, GREGG
ENGL142 601	RECITATION	.0	TR	10:00AM-10:50AM	GREENLAW	0305	LUTER, MATTHEW
HIST110 006	NATIVE NORTH AMERICA	3.0	MWF	12:00PM-12:50PM	STONE CENTER	0103	DUVAL, KATHLEEN
MUSC145 001	INTRO TO JAZZ	3.0	TR	12:30PM-01:45PM	HANES ART CENTER	0121	SMITH, B D
SPAN101 04W	ELEMENTARY SPANISH	4.0	T	11:00AM-11:50AM	DEY	0101	CHANDLER, KERI
WMST101 001	INTRO TO WMN STUD	3.0	TR	02:00PM-03:15PM	CARROLL	0111	SHIELDS, TANYA
WMST101 608	RECITATION	.0	R	05:00PM-06:15PM	MURPHEY	0118	PARKER, SARAH

 

but i think if carolina keeps sending me paperwork i might be soon

theres scholarship thank you letters! and tax forms for work study! and re-evaluations! and letters explaining why i am ready to return! and readmission applications! and housing documents! and more tax forms! and advising appointments! and picking classes (btw there are NONE left)! and finally meal plans!

wtf am i going to do about meal plans? any suggestions? i am going to be working and living on campus. ashwin is living off campus and with his grandmother moving in with them and him trying to finish his degree (a simple 9 hours away) i think i will be pretty campus bound. and i actually miss dining hall food. and they have a new meal plan. wtf am i supposed to do

and i am soooooooooooo worried about money.
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

but i get to move in starting the 19th and i am on a waiting list to be reassigned (if somehow miraculously a space on north campus opens up and i can live in a decent dorm)

i will keep you updated on the class front

oh and advising has be classified as a first year! apparently i am ONE FRIGGIN HOUR short of being a sophomore (29 hours instead of 30) if this is the case i am taking a good fuckin FYS (1st year seminar).

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

but other than that i am good and going home for the weekend to collect belongings and do laundry.
oh and i am probably quitting my shitty and totally bogus job at abercrombie. because i dont work anyway (they hardly give me any hours) and they are so gahhhhhhhhhhhh!

 this is really for my own edification
download geezer lake "liberated woman"

okay so i had the week from hell
there i said it
need no more mention it

anyway

so a while ago sarah posted a music blog--selectiveservice.net
I FRIGGIN LOVE IT

especially the part were we both love amanda palmers new album
:)

oh and where else can you find yo yo ma and james taylor doing a cover of the beatles?
seriously...

Souls like the wheels
Turning, taking us with wind at our heels
Burning, making us decide on what we're giving
Change this way of living

One little song
Give me strength to the leave the sad and the wrong
Bury safely in the past where I've been living
Alive but unforgiving
Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go

One little girl
Bring me life from where I thought it was dark
Be the spark that has a chance to light the candle
Love that I can handle
Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go
Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go

Souls like the wings
Spreading out away from bad memories
Make us capable of taking off and landing
Alive with understanding
Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go
Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go

we may get older
our hair, faces, style, and even friends will change
but i will always make a christmas post about my presents!!!!

so heres this years haul

from mom and dad:
rainboots
two carolina sweatshirts: one pull over and one zipup
carolina pj pants
carolina blue plaid pj pants
a printer
usb cables
ink-black and colored
an awesome brown and pink flannel shirt--its like a cowboy/western style shirt...it matches my rainboots
a barbie---a regular princess-y barbie
from mike:
burn after reading on dvd
intellectual devotional: cultural edition


all in all its a pretty awesome haul
i feel pretty good about it too because its all stuff i am going to use over and over again

merry christmas y'all

Elope with me Miss Private and we’ll sail around the world
I will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl
How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take?
How many nights of limping round on pagan holidays?
Oh elope with me in private and we’ll set something ablaze
A trail for the devil to erase
San Francisco’s calling us, the Giants and Mets will play
Piazza, New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?
We hung about the stadium, we’ve got no place to stay
We hung about the tenderloin and tenderly you tell
About the saddest book you ever read
It always makes you cry
The statue’s crying too and well he may.

I love you I’ve a drowning grip on your adoring face
I love you my responsibility has found a place
Beside you and strong warnings in the guise of gentle words
Come wave upon me from the family why not that's absurd
“You’ll take care of her, I know it, you will do a better job”
Maybe, but not what she deserves
Elope with me Miss Private and we’ll drink ourselves awake
We’ll taste the coffee houses and award certificates
A privy seal to keep the feel of 1960's style
We’ll comment on the decor and we’ll help the passer by
And at dusk when work is over we’ll continue the debate
In a borrowed bedroom virginal and spare
The catcher hits for .318 and catches every day
The pitcher puts religion first and rests on holidays
He goes into cathedrals and lies prostrate on the floor
He knows the drink affects his speed he’s praying for
a doorway
Back into the life he wants and the confession of the bench
Life outside the diamond is a wrench
I wish that you were here with me to pass the dull weekend
I know it wouldn’t come to love, my heroine pretend
A lady stepping from the songs we love until this day
You’d settle for an epitaph like “Walk Away, Renee”
The sun upon the roof in winter will draw you out like
a flower
Meet you at the statue in an hour
Meet you at the statue in an hour

I keep whispering his name
it just rolls off my tongue
its not something I am doing willingly
18 letters, 2 words, 6 syllables
I mouth each syllable, taking it slow, enjoying its length, its natural rhythm
I have never done this before--been so possessed by words, by a name
but its the only thing my heart can say

i have decided that i am done with advice
period
with regards to housing--i will just do whatever i feel like during the time at which i am filling out the application
so who knows where i will end up and who cares

in other news i have decided the course of the rest of my life
i want to be a historian and i want to be interviewed by PBS and the History Channel and A&E and all those other documentary makers
and i want to teach a crazy class on the founding fathers
so in other words i want to be a professor who writes papers and books

this will make me happy

i have the same feeling about this as i did about carolina

i am pretty good at the long term

except with relationships
but who needs those anyway?

everyone seems so happy
i am incredibly restless

you'd think the end of the semester would lead to a decrease in stress, but that just isnt the case for me

i have no clue what i am going to do next semester
i need to make friends
i need to get involved
i need to figure out where i am going to be living next year...i kinda want to live with maeg but she is starting to feel like RA/live by yourself vibe and there isnt really anyone else i want to live with

i used to lie awake and think about will but i cant sleep without ashwin--it takes me hours to fall asleep and i wake up exhausted
its like i have a toothache; something just nags at me all the time
it wont matter come summer--he will get a job in the spring and move away

random question: why can't leona lewis sing her own damn songs? her new single is a cover of snow patrol's "run" which is such a beautiful song and she just doesn't compare


i wish i were really good at something
or at least motivated


i hate this feeling; i wish my soul would just be quiet

"I have to plow through syntax and semantics"
-sarah referring to studying for her linguistics exam

i am listening to love songs again

no matter how unconventional they are


i complained that the timing was bad
emma said the timing was perfect because he came along when i needed him most



i have decided to let go and enjoy
its time to let myself feel for once

chai lattes, late nights, long kisses
i love college
being kissed until i concede that socialism isnt that bad
i love college


have i mentioned that i love college?

 

i've had an amazing week but i should probably stop spending so much time with that boy of mine and come back down to reality....every night cant be cuddling while watching IFC, pretending to write in coffee shops but making faces over laptop screens, holding political debates where the only form of evidence is seduction

how is this my life?
how is it that i have discovered the most wonderful people and it just so happens that they find some sort of wonderfulness in me?

 

i love college

<3

 

 

 

The 30 books listed here are of unparalleled prose, packed with wisdom capable of igniting a new understanding of the world.  Everyone should read these books before their 30th birthday.

1. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse – A powerful story about the importance of life experiences as they relate to approaching an understanding of reality and attaining enlightenment.
2. 1984 by George Orwell – 1984 still holds chief significance nearly 60 years after it was written in 1949.  It is widely acclaimed for its haunting vision of an all-knowing government which uses pervasive, 24/7 surveillance tactics to manipulate all citizens of the populace.
3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee – The story surveys the controversial issues of race and economic class in the 1930’s Deep South via a court case of a black man charged with the rape and abuse of a young white girl.  It’s a moving tale that delivers a profound message about fighting for justice and against prejudice.
4. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess – A nightmarish vision of insane youth culture that depicts heart wrenching insight into the life of a disturbed adolescent.  This novel will blow you away… leaving you breathless, livid, thrilled, and concerned.
5. For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway – A short, powerful contemplation on death, ideology and the incredible brutality of war.
6. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy – This masterpiece is so enormous even Tolstoy said it couldn’t be described as a standard novel.  The storyline takes place in Russian society during the Napoleonic Era, following the characters of Andrei, Pierre and Natasha… and the tragic and unanticipated way in which their lives interconnect.
7. The Rights of Man by Tom Paine – Written during the era of the French Revolution, this book was one of the first to introduce the concept of human rights from the standpoint of democracy.
8. The Social Contract by Jean-Jacques Rousseau – A famous quote from the book states that “Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.”  This accurately summarizes the book’s prime position on the importance of individual human rights within society.
9. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez – This novel does not have a plot in the conventional sense, but instead uses various narratives to portray a clear message about the general importance of remembering our cultural history.
10. The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin – Few books have had as significant an impact on the way society views the natural world and the genesis of humankind.
11. The Wisdom of the Desert by Thomas Merton – A collection of thoughts, meditations and reflections that give insight into what life is like to live simply and purely, dedicated to a greater power than ourselves.
12. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell – Gladwell looks at how a small idea, or product concept, can spread like a virus and spark global sociological changes.  Specifically, he analyzes “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.”
13. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham – Arguably one of the best children’s books ever written; this short novel will help you appreciate the simple pleasures in life.  It’s most notable for its playful mixture of mysticism, adventure, morality, and camaraderie.
14. The Art of War by Sun Tzu – One of the oldest books on military strategy in the world.  It’s easily the most successful written work on the mechanics of general strategy and business tactics.
15. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien – One of the greatest fictional stories ever told, and by far one of the most popular and influential written works in 20th-century literature.  Once you pick up the first book, you’ll read them all.
16. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens – This is a tale that lingers on the topic of attaining and maintaining a disciplined heart as it relates to one’s emotional and moral life.  Dickens states that we must learn to go against “the first mistaken impulse of the undisciplined heart.”
17. Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot – Probably the wisest poetic prose of modern times.  It was written during World War II, and is still entirely relevant today… here’s an excerpt: “The dove descending breaks the air/With flame of incandescent terror/Of which the tongues declare/The only discharge from sin and error/The only hope, or the despair/Lies in the choice of pyre or pyre–/To be redeemed from fire by fire./Who then devised this torment?/Love/Love is the unfamiliar Name/Behind the hands that wave/The intolerable shirt of flame/Which human power cannot remove./We only live, only suspire/Consumed by either fire or fire.”
18. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller – This book coined the self-titled term “catch-22” that is widely used in modern-day dialogue.  As for the story, its message is clear: What’s commonly held to be good, may be bad… what is sensible, is nonsense.  Its one of the greatest literary works of the 20th century.  Read it.
19. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald – Set in the Jazz Age of the roaring 20’s, this book unravels a cautionary tale of the American dream.  Specifically, the reader learns that a few good friends are far more important that a zillion acquaintances, and the drive created from the desire to have something is more valuable than actually having it.
20. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger – This novel firmly stands as an icon for accurately representing the ups and downs of teen angst, defiance and rebellion.  If nothing else, it serves as a reminder of the unpredictable teenage mindset.
21. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – A smooth-flowing, captivating novel of a young man living in poverty who criminally succumbs to the desire for money, and the hefty phychological impact this has on him and the people closest to him.
22. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli – This book does a great job at describing situations of power and statesmanship.  From political and corporate power struggles to attaining advancement, influence and authority over others, Machiavelli’s observations apply.
23. Walden by Henry David Thoreau – Thoreau spent two years, two months and two days writing this book in a secluded cabin near the banks of Walden Pond in Concord, Massachusetts.  This is a story about being truly free from the pressures of society.  The book can speak for itself:  “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
24. The Republic by Plato – A gripping and enduring work of philosophy on how life should be lived, justice should be served, and leaders should lead.  It also gives the reader a fundamental understanding of western political theory.
25. Lolita – This is the kind of book that blows your mind wide open to conflicting feelings of life, love and corruption… and at times makes you deeply question your own perceptions of each.  The story is as devious as it is beautiful.
26. Getting Things Done by David Allen – The quintessential guide to organizing your life and getting things done.  Nuff said.
27. How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – This is the granddaddy of all self-improvement books.  It is a comprehensive, easy to read guide for winning people over to your way of thinking in both business and personal relationships.
28. Lord of the Flies by William Golding – A powerful and alarming look at the possibilities for savagery in a lawless environment, where compassionate human reasoning is replaced by anarchistic, animal instinct.
29. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck – Steinbeck’s deeply touching tale about the survival of displaced families desperately searching for work in a nation stuck by depression will never cease to be relevant.
30. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov – This anticommunist masterpiece is a multifaceted novel about the clash between good and evil.  It dives head first into the topics of greed, corruption and deception as they relate to human nature.
31. BONUS:  How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman – 900 pages of simple instructions on how to cook everything you could ever dream of eating.  Pretty much the greatest cookbook ever written.  Get through a few recipes each week, and you’ll be a master chef by the time you’re 30.
32. BONUS:  Honeymoon with My Brother by Franz Wisner – Franz Wisner had it all… a great job and a beautiful fiancée.  Life was good.  But then his fiancée dumped him days before their wedding, and his boss basically fired him.  So he dragged his younger brother to Costa Rica for his already-scheduled honeymoon and they never turned back… around the world they went for two full years.  This is a fun, heartfelt adventure story about life, relationships, and self discovery.

the ones in blue i have read
ENJOY

theres been a lot of pressure between us
he really enjoys hanging out with me... a LOT
but
he would like it better if we were just friends





then dont walk me home, dont care about my safety, about my sleeping habits, the homework i dont do
dont whisper things in my ear, dont write me notes, dont make inside jokes, dont look at me and when i meet your eyes glance the other way




and i wont walk around with a bad attitude and a bruised heart

 

 

he kept asking me if i was going to be okay. you know, since emma and yeah

i wish he wouldnt have.

 

i dyed my hair

if everyone could just stop being in love for a week that would be nice
kthxbye

i think the only type of romance i am capable of having is the wayward kind

ps to cyn: I still have girly daydreams too.

i kissed him on the cheek good bye last night
he had reached his arms out towards me for a hug so i put my arms around his neck and then i kissed him
he said: "oh thanks"


i dont know what to do

i'm in trouble
i am becoming invested

So...
me + homework = epic fail

for those who havent been clued in i have a thing for a guy
and i now remember why i epic fail at relationships
there is too much bullshit involved
other people getting in the way
society
morals
why cant it just be i like you, you like me, who the fuck cares whatever else is going on

i am impatient and neurotic and i need a complication like a diabetic needs ben and jerrys

but i really like this one.

like staying out until 3am kinda like

like skipping studying to go to a bar kinda like

like the kinda like that is going to get me into trouble
and he isnt the troublemaker
i am


i dont even like halo


i am no good at romance, at subtlety


i wish someone would put me out of my misery